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18 entries this month
 

“Feb. 14th”

19:12 Feb 14 2019
Times Read: 654


HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!!


COMMENTS

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DarkestTemptation
DarkestTemptation
03:23 Feb 15 2019

And to you as well my dear friend. There is no happiness in my life that holds love so high. I have never known or felt real love deep within my heart. It’s been yet a sad day nothing happen on this day it’s been like this for me for 25 years and counting. So, many told me that she will come but all I feel is broken promises.





thecrucible
thecrucible
05:43 Feb 15 2019

:( I can only tell you, you would not beleive how many times I felt a certain way for over 20 years straight, and still one day it changed. It is very difficult. It may seem odd to just come right out and say it, but I always pray about whatever cannot take... and generally prayer is a major source of change in my life. You can always talk to me when you need a friend...





 

🎼

04:14 Feb 14 2019
Times Read: 661


White demon love song
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Pz60U91Thxs&list=PL48090C697B849B80&index=5


Help I’m alive
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Ikjoo1UdbfQ


All yours
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Eb7eyMUnSYU


Blood stream
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=V3b1CDLsiGU





https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=6x3uiK6UlG4


COMMENTS

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📚🖊☕️

00:58 Feb 14 2019
Times Read: 663


The snow is falling. Coffee and research this morning. I woke up at 5 am. It was a productive day, so I feel great energy-wise. Some wierd dreams I woke up from which I don’t want to re-iterate...


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📚🌌☕️

02:03 Feb 13 2019
Times Read: 672


It is super cold out. I’m happy to be inside by a heater, with coffee and star viewing! I woke up at 3 am, approx., and meditated... somehow I’ve been sleeping a few short hours, which is great. I’m sorry to see people struggling... that is never fun. So... I hope everything gets better. I had a bit more energy in the last few days and I completed another 14 hrs of research and writing... it would probably be done by now, but the sky was clear and the sun was bright.


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Working...

02:35 Feb 12 2019
Times Read: 685


A good day. 15 hrs of research straight... I’m so ready to sleep. I hope these wierd people who attack alll the friggin time will walk halfway across the planet and never return... nobody needs the stress, at all, whatsoever ... Other than that I feel as if I had a better day than most ... I woke up wanting to work... I recharged well in the darkness - then I got a lot done. And it was a full work day... tomorrow will bring much more.


COMMENTS

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🎼

18:50 Feb 09 2019
Times Read: 707


Veldes - “Skyward” Full EP
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=LKUqulFGxXA&t=175s


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“More thoughts... “

18:16 Feb 09 2019
Times Read: 711


I had a great morning. I ordered coffee and listened to some dark classical music which I’d only previously reviewed. I warmed my feet by the heater, as there is approx. 3-4 feet of snow covering the ground... so it was a great hour of meditation in the darkness of the 4 am - 7 am hours on the Sabbath of Saturday, February 9th, 2019. I had managed to climb over a mountain of hell for the past 3 years and am now in a place where life is looking up...

I’ve got a lot of the organization of recyclable materials out of the way... my living space is clean and it’s been a productive winter, on top of the past three years. Hmm, I don’t know if I mentioned all, I will now, in this post; I wrote my first book, it is completed (not published), I managed to finish about 60% of my survival guides into organized chapters, edited and in final draft, I have a library finished of haunted content, research, convos, video footage of an area which is likely haunted and may also have anything from residents which are vampiric, witches, and some other unique types I do not feel like listing, along with tons of related photography, I’m at 95 hrs of research, idk, I went camping a year or so ago and had my first encounter with a demon of myth, I discovered the grounds which host over 3 cults, 1 group of live modern art, and a few other things I don’t really want to mention... it has all been beyond interesting. It is over now though, as far as I can tell, and I’m moving onto some of my own journeying. I want to hike the S. E. Mountainous region of Alaska. Not much else is on my mind at this very moment.

I watched a YouTube video this morning in which two RLVC members were slandered, which was very stressful ... I’m staying far away from the world which is ran by such thinking. I pray to god, though, that all of existence will heal... both those that persecute and those that suffer from vampirism. I’m sure some don’t understand why I would wish well upon people who behave inappropriately... if I’m being honest, this has to do with what I actually beleive... generally I feel a person is mislead, and more commonly what is displayed on a screen about them is a lie and the person is just as lost inside a maze as anyone else, and if not, then it is some form of possession people do not have the ability to see through or understand. Regardless of whatever it is, I think any person would rather live in a perfect world and be a part of a perfect world.. so that is what I will remain focused on. One day I’m sure existence will be different, as no one wants to live in a terrible world in the first place.


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February

06:28 Feb 09 2019
Times Read: 717


A beautiful February!


COMMENTS

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“Colors Unknown”

20:06 Feb 07 2019
Times Read: 742


In the late hours, night, thoroughly washes through my form - the dark currents of an ocean floor. I considered the possible dormancy and hollow, voidal, black catalyst for my thoughts... thoughts I can’t explain, as I am a beige person by nature... I just feel so washed up in the tide, easily blended with the fabric of space and time, it’s not a bad thing... of course. It is not the life of a vampire, though, to find peace in this world... not as it is - as it is so much more complicated than this. I think it would be how a vampire would naturally choose to live, though, meditatively in the dark and silence, or even just calmly in their own arms. We are all different. The sun was so heavy, in the afternoon light it suffocated me, my breath catching, crying against my thought which drew the life, begging not to leave my chest. The yellow rays of gold focused upon my aversion, screaming at my nerves. Then further, the light pierced through the flesh of my face, catching every cell, reciprocating hate as it fell through the layers, and on to my throat and lungs ... Erratically in opposition to me, the light. It is notable, that, seeing in the presence of any light is nearly impossible, where as the waves of midnight seem to draw me in further - into these dark kisses of acceptance, acceptance of how different I am. Tonight I wonder, how I could hide, and I think carefully.


COMMENTS

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🎼

12:47 Feb 05 2019
Times Read: 770


🎼🎼🎼


COMMENTS

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“Five Of Diamonds and The Black Joker”

17:09 Feb 04 2019
Times Read: 801


‘‘Twas the Five of Diamonds, and, The Black Joker appeared shortly after that... all in fate’s hands.” The Ghost told **** *******, with a sly, meaningful glance, sidelong and mischevious... He traveled a ways to relay the dark knowledge of wisdom. The Ghost slid into the seat next to *******, where the matriarchal ruler sat in tearful repentance. Slyly, he reiterated the plans of Mercury under his breath, and, the reaping of the angels he foretold soon after that. ******* didn’t question the authenticity of the young man’s statements, for, the *.*. knew the dark spirit personally, having lived in the same realm, she had worked closely with the apparition for over 400 years...


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“Tendancies”

06:53 Feb 04 2019
Times Read: 815


The vampire thought within, “Have I come this far just to taste the immortal demon of your lips? Has the luscious height of your veins, unbeknownst to myself, lured me into my own snare... “


COMMENTS

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Onyxthehuman
Onyxthehuman
07:04 Feb 04 2019

That's some good writing right there, man!





thecrucible
thecrucible
10:12 Feb 04 2019

Thanks. :)





 

“Glacier”

06:12 Feb 03 2019
Times Read: 829


Well. It was a very gory morning and afternoon, with my deepening thirst for blood, vampiric state, depressing thoughts etc., etc. I am thinking positive though. Distancing myself for some time.


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🎼

10:53 Feb 02 2019
Times Read: 838


“Better” - Khalid

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=KkOF8UiB7u8&list=RDCLAK5uy_mu-BhJj3yO1OXEMzahs_aJVtNWJwAwFEE&index=8

“Queen Naija” - Butterflies

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=zjN3D1ZQNHU&index=31&list=RDCLAK5uy_mu-BhJj3yO1OXEMzahs_aJVtNWJwAwFEE

“Silent Talk” - Klimeks
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Uhbn9ClA9wo&index=6&list=PL28ydiIFcw6KRDvlh9updEdgoefmFEj6p&t=0s



“Blank Space” - Taylor Swift

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=e-ORhEE9VVg

“Mine” - Taproot

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=KYf11xMnXiQ

“Pop Evil” Torn To Pieces

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=T8UDgRUE0lY


COMMENTS

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🎼

18:07 Feb 01 2019
Times Read: 849


“Hypnotic” - Zella Day

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=AhDUMKzQouo

“Hurts So Good” - Astrid S

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=4fqwVBuunxY


COMMENTS

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😂😂😂

13:19 Feb 01 2019
Times Read: 851


I don’t think I will ever make the mistake of trying to write backwards poetry again 😅😂.


COMMENTS

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“The Vampire Epidemic”

06:25 Feb 01 2019
Times Read: 857


Wow! I’m glad I’m done with all of the serious housework. I’m now ready to finish my research. A stressful time though ... so many people to sort through which overlay the same subject. I’m trying to find the REAL subjects beneath what they have been buried in. I think it’s obvious, I also am aware it is a grave task once I’m working on it... everything from misinformation to careful dissection of the truth from reality has become an obstacle in efforts to find the truth historically. Right now the abuse done to the dead, while they were living, is evident in much of history, and the violation of the dead also took place. There’s also accounts of missing vampires or body parts ... I mean I definitely had not assumed I would struggle to find information such as the information I have found. What is obvious has been on my mind today.


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🎼

03:54 Feb 01 2019
Times Read: 715


“The Reckoning” - Within Temptation

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=LJ5G8IUH4-Q


COMMENTS

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